Fear

The husband works overnight now.  3^rd shift.  Awesome.  I’m afraid of the dark. Truth.

Tonight was night #1 and I’m supposed to get up at 5am to go running in Seaside.  I’m going to reassess that plan after tonight.  Because it’s almost 2am and I’m no longer tired…

Well, I was tired.  I was watching Glee on Hulu and I was nodding off.  I was so excited because I would be able to sleep.  No fear. 

So I got up to gather the dogs and double (who am I kidding, quadruple… times infinity) check the front door that it was locked.  And turn off the lights.  Well I guess I turned most of them off when I started watching TV which is surprising in retrospect.  I had turned every light in the apartment on shortly after dark.  Every. Light.  Kitchen, dining, front room area, closet, bathroom, hall, bedroom.  Every. Light. And you wonder why I’ve become a blogger…

So I get up, ready for sleep in my bed with my protective dogs…. Yay, I don’t have to sleep on the couch. Let me check the door again.  FLASH!  I froze…

I might be afraid of thunder and lightning too.  Maybe it’s just the bright lights and loud banging?  Well, just when I’m alone.   Otherwise, I love a good storm. 

FLASH!  Just one.  I froze.  I waited for the torturous rumbling that was sure to follow.  But nothing happened.  Just silence.   

And I’m awake.  Was that lightning?  Yes, it was lightning.  What else could it be?  Don’t let your mind wander, it was lightning. Then, why no thunder?  It was bright.  No thunder?  Is it raining?  No.  The ground is wet, so it must have rained earlier. There were clouds when you walked the dogs remember?  So it was lightning.  God I hope it doesn’t storm.  Why is my heart pounding so loud?  Niner?  Philly?  Let’s go to bed dogs. 

I’m tired.  I can sleep right?  Maybe get the laptop, you can do some writing.  And it's 2am, I'm still writing...

Do you know the 2am song?  By Anna Nalick.  I love this song.  iTunes it. The following couldn't be more perfect... 

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.